Dr. Know

A client was launching a restaurant. "I want the descriptor on my signage to read Multi Cuisine Restaurant (MCR)", he insisted. No amount of counselling worked in making him see otherwise. So I picked up my digicam, and shot pics of every MCR I came across that day. Noshir, a colleague, also had his camera pointed in the same direction. And together we got the client around to our line of thinking.

Now think about it. Where on earth will you find a client paying you to give him advice which he will not take? Try advertising.

Lagey raho Arshad bhai

Another saga of Munnabhai, and if there's one reason I'm hoping there will be a part 3, it isn't Munna.

While Sanjay Dutt delivers a stand up performance, the stand out performance comes from a much underrated actor. Arshad Warsi. He is brilliant playing Circuit, the lovable don's even more lovable sidekick.

"Woh, kya hai na bhai..."

A saree state of affairs

No matter where in Chennai you are, you're never too far from a saree hoarding. Throw a stone in almost any direction and you have an excellent chance of hitting one.

The magnificence of the 6 yard drape is advertised in a manner that has to be seen to be believed. And helping the cause are some distractingly good looking ladies. They don't however do much for traffic jams.

Next stop, the jewellery store.

In the rear view.

My travels in Oz. October 2005.

I landed in Sydney a few minutes before the clock struck 7 pm. From the airplane window, 'phoren' didn't look any different. I walked out of the aircraft as fast as my cramped legs allowed me to. And went through a routine check of my papers.

Then a few steps down to pick up the bag I had checked in. Bag however, wasn't in any hurry to come out. Guess he knew he wasn't going to see much of Sydney anyway. And was making his displeasure evident.

Finally my luggage emerged. With a bump and a grind. I heaved it out. With a grunt. Next stop, the exchange counter. Ozzy dollars obtained, I turned to proceed to another check post. But hold on, here's a handsomely dressed couple coming my way. 'Can we see your papers please?', asked the lady with a smile. 'Sure', I said. Airport security. They probably thought I looked suspicious. I'd noticed the male half of the couple whispering into his partner's ear while trying very hard not to let me know, that he was looking in my direction. Many more polite questions, honest replies and satisfied curiosities later, I stepped out of the airport. Uncle Ram and Prem waved.

A little later we hit the road with Uncle Ram at the wheel of a roomy Mazda. And as we breezed through the streets of Sydney towards the suburb of Strathfield, I started to fall in love with the city.

The roads had lanes, and guess what, people stuck to them. There were zebra crossings where vehicles actually stopped to let pedestrians cross. This must be wonderland!

Ma Baker

Meet Malini Suryanarayanan. Champion at getting people to drool. Men and women alike.
Website: nakeddesserts.com

Go ahead, race to Conclusion Point, but only if it helps you work up a healthy appetite. 'Cos she's got a long list of cakes, cookies, brownies and other assorted temptations up her sleeve. One bite and you are positively hooked. The last I remember, I was on a weight loss program.

Drop by her website to see what you want her to rustle up for you. And bid a fond farewell to your weighing scale.

Chennai-yin NOT favourite!

Three months in Chennai and there's just one thing I can't digest. It's yellow, greasy and wriggles around all parts of the city. A worse affliction than anything that's shown up in a biopsy.

The auto.

The demands for a 3 km journey starts at nothing less than 60 rupees. If the driver is in a good mood, he'll probably go for 50. If he isn't, add 10%. No this isn't an air conditioned motor vehicle that runs on a Merc engine and has padded seats and super shock absorbers for extra comfort. The auto is the 21st century paying tribute to the Boneshaker.

And while Chennai has one of the lowest crime rates in the country, this daylight robbery continues every day. On every street.

George of the Bungle

I just couldn't resist putting this up. Comedian Bill Maher at his caustic best.

Mocking President Bush for general ineptitude, Maher delivered a hilarious and scathing rant as part of his "New Rules" segment on HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher".

Here it is.

"New rule: American must recall the president. That's what this country needs – a good old-fashioned, California-style recall election, complete with Gary Coleman, porno actresses, and action film stars. And just like Schwarzenegger's predecessor here in California, George Bush is now so unpopular, he must now defend his job against…Russell Crowe, because at this point I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody. In fact, let's have only phone throwers. Naomi Campbell can be the vice president. "Now I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more money to spend; you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Yeah, listen to your mom, the cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out, and no one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished. "Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It's time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman? Now, I know what you're saying, you're saying that there are so many other things that you as president could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, there a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax of yachts, turning the space program over to the church and Social Security to Fannie Mae, giving embryos the vote. "But sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poor, I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes. On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country, I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, 'Take a hint.'"
-Bill Maher, HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher," Sept. 9, 2005

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