Give 'em a name

Call 'em anything but the Sri Ram Sene.

A name like 'Sri Ram' gives them a legitimacy that they should be denied. (I hope a media person has a ear to this.)

I suggest Chaddi Buddies. (In fond memory of the pink that's overflowing from their party office in Mangalore.)

You have a name?

Attteen-shun!!!

I'm sure you've noticed what passes off as security checks in the city's public places, and therefore also know what exactly can pass through them.

Mirrors rolled under cars. Wooden frames with serial lights that pretend to be metal detectors.

Security checks?

To deter the determined terrorist?

Or to keep honest people honest?

A study in contrasts

India pining? Or shining?

Peedom of expression

Hold your nose if you're visiting Chennai. And be very careful of who you shake hands with.

While on the subject, you might want to catch up with the rise and fall of Pee Pee Peeter and a piece on why it's safer to piss in public than kiss.

FreeRice - Play and feed a hungry person

www.freerice.com

is a website that lets you play a word game on it. For every correct answer, 20 grains of rice are donated through the United Nations to fight world hunger. What's in it for you? A better vocabulary.

Who pays for the donated rice?
The rice is paid for by the advertisers whose names you see on the bottom of your vocabulary screen. This is regular advertising for these companies, but it is also something more. Through their advertising at FreeRice, these companies support both learning (free vocabulary for everyone) and reducing hunger (free rice for the hungry). We commend these companies for their participation at FreeRice.

If FreeRice has the rice to give, why not give it all away right now?
FreeRice is not sitting on a pile of rice―you are earning it 20 grains at a time. Here is how it works. When you play the game, advertisements appear on the bottom of your screen. The money generated by these advertisements is then used to buy the rice. So by playing, you generate the money that pays for the rice donated to hungry people.

Who distributes the donated rice?
The rice is distributed by the United Nations World Food Program (WFP). The World Food Program is the world’s largest food aid agency, working with over 1,000 other organizations in over 75 countries. In addition to providing food, the World Food Program helps hungry people to become self-reliant so that they escape hunger for good. Wherever possible, the World Food Program buys food locally to support local farmers and the local economy. We encourage you to visit the United Nations World Food Program to learn more about their successful approach to ending hunger.

Does FreeRice make any money from this?

No, it does not. FreeRice runs the site at no profit.

Surangani weds America

Bush bashing. Time passing. Fully entertaining. Please watching.

Wall art for a cleaner city

Since the Goverment's doing sweet nothing about preventing people from peeing on every wall in sight, the Chennaiite has a few solutions of his own. If only to keep the walls of his establishment from raising a stink.




It however doesn't help to paint senior politicians' pix on walls. Opposing parties will only welcome, with open zips, an opportunity to dirty the image of someone on the other side.

Additional income

While the economy is booming for 20% of Indians, the rest are simply trying to add one side dish to their daily meal. Here's one example.

Piss, don't kiss

Thinking of taking things into your own hands in public? Then let it be your... um..ahem...er, rather than your beloved.Kiss in public and you're likely to wind up with a bloody nose. So what if it's just a peck and the lady is your wife of several years. This is a decent society. Respectable. And it says you cannot commit indecencies in public. What example are you setting for the youth of this nation? Huh?Piss in public, on a vacant wall, and you will be felicitated for having inaugurated yet another common man's lavatory in the city. A few others will join you. And after you have left, more will continue the good work. Alas, man who drinks water is also a man who must pass water.

So citizens one and all, by the law of the land,
You can unzip quietly and take in your hand
You can do it in public, just do it on a wall,
You can do it anytime, spring, summer or fall.
You can display your phallus to an unsuspecting crowd,
And draw absolutely nothing but an indulgent frown.
But smooch in public and you'll catch one on the jaw
Our culture don't allow it, and that's the bloomin' law.
So piss, don't kiss, it's safer that way
And I don't blame you for wondering, who made us this way?

Happy Independence Day?

We're No. 2. So we try harder.

Everyday the world's second oldest profession finds new depths to drop to. Didn't you see the hooker smirk?

The great Indian ad scam

This article is a must read for anyone in any way related to advertising - copywriters, art directors, clients, client servicing execs... It shames the parallel world that a large number of Indian advertising professionals have created to glorify itself, when unable to cut it on real work.
Click on the link below and read. It's time to do some soul searching.

http://agencyfaqs.com/perl/news/index.html?sid=17775

One way traffic

"Turn the other cheek", said the Lord, "if someone were to smite you on one".

But no matter how committed a practising Christian you are, it's one piece of advice you're going to find very hard to follow, if you are an advertiser on those stretches of Chennai which have recently been deemed a one-way. It's left your billboards facing the direction of traffic and making a point behind people's backs. A unique glitch, which calls for a unique fix. So you call the grey cells at the agency, who then get together to come up with what's affectionately called a media innovation.
(Just an ounce from their pound of jargon for which you can hardly penalise them. It does take a great deal of innovation to get Mr.Client to cough up a little more than the 0.0000001% he's paying the agency.)

Now back to the problem. Oh, but that really is the problem. People now have their backs to it. So let's confront it then. Giddyup...

Option 1
Say we put a large mirror exactly opposite the billboard which is looking the wrong way. Yes, that means you repaint the billboard laterally inverted. It has to be done. You can't let a few extra bucks come in the way of creativity.

But you know Murphy's views on things that go wrong. What if, two weeks down, the city's traffic controllers decided they'd got the one-way pointing in the wrong direction, and decided to do an about turn? Leaving the mirror useless, and motorists riding straight into laterally inverted messages?

"! PLEH"

Option 2
An amplifier and speaker on the billboard, programmed to shout out a few words every 5 seconds. How about "Psssssssssssssssssst...pssssssssssssst.... blue Kinetic. Look here." (Silence) Then in our very own superstar's voice, "Naan oru vaati sonna, nooru vaati sonna madhiri".

Not a bad idea, huh? More cost effective too. Unless you count the possibility of being sued by motorists who turn to the voice and off the road into a hospital bed. Not to worry. That only happens in America.

Option 3
It's not very creative, so you can have it for free. Take down those billboards. Save the money. And make your first contribution to making Chennai a lot easier on the eye. I wonder how many agencies would put their money on this one.

A call for help...

This ad never ran. The number is a dummy. However, the context hasn't changed much. The tsunami victims still await help (all that the government promised, unlike the tsunami, is turning up in a trickle laced with bureaucratic hurdles).

Just google 'Tsunami relief in India' to find ways in which you can contribute.

Narayana, narayana...

Is there anyone in this country who does not have an opinion on Indian cricket?

The corner paanwaala, the bus conductor, the office boy, the accountant, the waiter at my favourite restaurant... And now, guess who?

I remember a friend who walked up to me at the agency, having noticed a vein bulging in my forehead as I worked on an ad. "Chill buddy, it's only advertising", he said.

Thirty Something - full album download

Click on song name to download

1. Whose line is it anyway?

2. Let me go

3. Hey Mister Cowboy

4. Love at first swipe

5. Missing you

6. Simple joys of life

www.shoestringtheband.com

The truth about Dow

Paul Phare's series of artworks, A glimpse behind the mask of Dow is a personal response to Dow Chemical's "human element" advertising campaign, on which Dow has spent $30 million. Paul wishes to encourage people to download the posters and spread them widely. Post them on your websites, email them to friends, print them out, get them seen by as many people as possible. For high quality files suitable for litho or giclée printing, please email Paul at paul_phare @ yahoo.co.uk

Here are a few links that will tell you more about Bhopal's fight for justice post Union Carbide, and tell you about ways in which you can help.

www.bhopal.net
www.studentsforbhopal.org
http://www.indrasinha.com/bhopal.html
http://www.bhopal.org/

Check out Indra Sinha's new book Animal's People

Of plunging necklines, rising libidos and advertising aimed at the crotch

Mandira Bedi's plunging neckline and Riya Sen's 'hardly there' hot pants may have nothing to do with Reliance caller tunes, but they're certainly trying to get the bell ringing in readers' pants.

Is this what advertisers call 'below the line' advertising?

Catching them young

Outdoor advertising at Sterling Junction, Chennai. Just across the road from Good Shepherd School.

The political convenience of racism

Now if you are of Asian or African origin and have travelled to the 'civilised' western world, this might seem a familiar tale. Sometimes, it's an airport security officer who is feeling you up a little more intimately than even a public demonstration of love would permit. Or it's the workplace, where the colour of the currency you receive is determined by the colour of your skin.

So like it or not, racism is alive, and kicking. And these days, making quite an impact on Shilpa Shetty's cute posteriors.

But this isn't the first time racist behaviour has been beamed live into living rooms. The cricket field is another place where the white man seems to be able to get away with almost anything. The Aussies and South Africans have it down to a fine art. And if England were playing any better than they are at the moment, they'd be a pretty surly bunch as well.

Funnily no one has ever raised questions about these discolorations on the cricket field. Andre Nel has never been discussed in Parliament. Hardly an eyelid is being moved over Herschelle Gibbs' remarks about the Pakistanis. So why then has Shilpa Shetty become the topic of discussion in the corridors of power. She hasn't called out for help. Yet the poliicians are out in hordes making statements and promising action. Is there an election around the corner?