Sony... er, yet so far away

Last evening I stepped into the Croma on North Usman Road.

Aim of experiment? To procure a HD video camera.

Budget? 25K or less. The latter being the more attractive option.

I figured that having just passed Diwali, the store would be less crowded, and I'd be able to motor my way around without being glared at by fat bottomed Maamis.

All above turned out to be true, and a salesman was at our elbow as soon as we set foot inside Croma. For those who haven't heard of Croma, it's a multi-brand store that stocks electronics among other things. I then informed the salesman of my intentions, desires and depth of wallet.

He promptly showed me the available range of Sony HD camcorders. Explained a few features, while laying emphasis on those absent in the less expensive model.

Cool. All is well. I like what I hear. Now I'd like to appreciate what I will see. "Can you hook up the camera to a television so I can appreciate the quality of the video it captures?"

"Sir I can do it after you buy the camera. With your piece."

"You mean, you cannot give me a product demo?"

"No sir, it's against the rules."

Very quaint. This must be what they call free after sales service. I could imagine the ad.

FREE demo on purchase of HD video camera worth Rs. 25,000. Conditions apply.

I kid you not. This did happen. Try it yourself.

Service with a smiley

The auto meter as a revenue generation model

The auto meter seems to have finally found its calling. It's usefulness as a measure of travel fare is a chapter and a half in the history books, but it now has a purpose far beyond reminding passengers of their helplessness. Brand building. Wah...wah...wah...

All in all it's just another prick in the wall.

Hot shot

Merry Christmas

Where exactly are the roads in Chennai going?

Take a ride/walk down the Old Mahabalipuram Road or the IT Corridor as it is has more recently been called, and you will for a moment forget that you are in Chennai.

No overflowing drains and garbage bins that appear more frequently than a politician's mug.

No stinky sidewalks that mask your body odour and the deodorant you've showered in.

No wet patches on walls that remind you that shamelessness is a way of life.

No spine crunching potholes that are the pride of Chennai.

All gone. Vanished without a trace. It must be David Copperfield. Or is it P. James, the city's very own?

So I ask myself. If one road in the city can be free of potholes (even if it is to fool foreign investors), why not every other? I couldn't find a logical answer. So I arrived at a conspiracy theory which was offered up by that half of my brain which loves Cartoon Network.

Here goes.

It's a nexus between the Govt. and tyre, shock absorber manufacturers. If all roads were as smooth as a baby's bum, tyres would last a lot longer. As would the shocks. So they make less money. Which is a lot less than a good thing. So let's make more potholes must be the unanimous decision. If the elements don't do it, just send someone along to dig up a drain.

On that bumpy note, I leave you. To come up with your own theory. Do keep me posted.

When it rains, Chennai continues to pour

Yesterday I got an SMS from a friend in Bangalore.

"I hear it's raining heavily in Chennai. Guess you won't need Cauvery water this year."

What he hasn't heard is that it's not just the rains that's contributing to the increased levels of ground water. The local male populace, not to be discouraged by a rainy day, have been unzipping and shooting their hearts out with gay abandon. In public places. So I'd still like to have my drinking water from the Cauvery.

Modern times

And around him, state-of-the-art Hondas, Toyotas, Suzukis, Nissans, Kawasakis, Mitsubishis, Chevrolets, Hyundais, BMWs, Fiats, Mercedes, Renaults...

Peedom of expression

Hold your nose if you're visiting Chennai. And be very careful of who you shake hands with.

While on the subject, you might want to catch up with the rise and fall of Pee Pee Peeter and a piece on why it's safer to piss in public than kiss.

Chennai pubs - more bars than the local jail

Good interiors. Outstanding music. Average service. Parking for 10 cars and seating for over a 100 people. Pubs in Chennai aren't too different from one street to another. Butt for the size of the bouncers manning the door.

So when this new pub opened within walking distance of my humble home, I decided to acquaint myself with its interiors. So after a long day at work, tired of spirit and parched of throat, I ambled up to the pub with a male friend of similar disposition. And just as we reached the door, the afore introduced bouncers - 3 of them - converged on us. I don't know why all 3 came at us. Each of them was bigger than both of us put together and twice as intimidating. Perhaps it was the dawning of the mathematical reality that 3 is greater than 2, and that 1 (no matter how big a 1) is still less than 2.

They informed us that it was Ladies' Night and the male sex was allowed in only in the company of a member of the fairer sex. We decided against any attempt to pass off as bearded ladies, and moved on to another dignified watering hole.

The next time, determined to get past the door, I got my wife to tag along. Of course, I had made it a point to wear fully covered shoes, a collared shirt and bottom wear that stopped well below my ankles. I even combed my hair. It worked and they let us in.

Like I mentioned before, the interiors were nice. Quite pub like, smoky, with a sprinkling of bar stools and TV screens. The music, just the way I like it mixed - classic rock. But there was something else which had classic corked written all over it.

It was the seating.

Men in one section. Women in another. And couples in a third.

Boys' school. Girls' school. Co-ed.

Remember?

I was disappointed. My optimism had been dashed to the ground and swept into the drains. Here was another pub with more restrictions than drinks on their menu. I'm off to Bangalore for the weekend.

Chennai Photowalk, version 2

Sometime last month Chandrachoodan Gopalakrishnan announced on his blog a photowalk from some place in Chennai to another. The plan? Just like 'photowalk' suggests, shoot pictures as you walk. Around a dozen people turned up, shot some nice pics and posted them HERE.

Much as I needed the walk, I couldn't make it. Now CCG is doing it again on December 9, 2007. The details of the second Chennai photowalk are here.

I'm going to make it this time. Add a few pics. Lose a few grams. Hmmmm.....................................

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-Law

What ever happened to the lane system on Mount Road? Separate strips for 2-wheelers, cars, autos, buses etc. It did get me into several sticky situations when I moved in to Chennai last year, and tried my best to be a law abiding citizen.

And to think you're told to obey the law to stay out of trouble.

Valet 'Illatha' Parking

Take your car into a mall, movie theatre, hotel or absolutely any other business that doesn't believe in wasting space on parking for its customers, and almost immediately a new breed of service providers loom large in your windscreen.

They are called valets, though I believe that 'parking consultants' will be the norm in future. Now I'm allergic to letting some bloke with dubious driving skills have a go at my dream boat.

Why?

Do I want it driven off like the route was Paris-Dakar, as soon as my back was turned?

Do I want its gear box to croak in protest, as it is put through the paces by someone who could have been a wrestler if he weren't trying to be a driver?

Do I want to wonder where my car will be parked when clearly the lot looked stuffed to the gills?

Do I want to puzzle over what "PARKING AT OWNERS' RISK" means when somebody else has the key?

Do you?

A number of numbers

Landline number.
Mobile number.
PAN number.
Bank account number.
ATM Pin number.
Internet Pin number.
Telephone Pin number.
Credit card number.
Debit card number.
Company employee number.
Vehicle registration number.
Gas connection number.
License number.
Passport number.

And if that weren't enough, we have this.

Karnatriix

The band's album's out and it can be bought at itunes and cdbaby.

I strongly recommend this album. It's a haunting new sound, and all you need to do is open your ears, and perhaps your mind as well.

Wall art for a cleaner city

Since the Goverment's doing sweet nothing about preventing people from peeing on every wall in sight, the Chennaiite has a few solutions of his own. If only to keep the walls of his establishment from raising a stink.




It however doesn't help to paint senior politicians' pix on walls. Opposing parties will only welcome, with open zips, an opportunity to dirty the image of someone on the other side.

Additional income

While the economy is booming for 20% of Indians, the rest are simply trying to add one side dish to their daily meal. Here's one example.

It's coming down, and it's not the rain

The only downside of wearing a 'lungi / mundu', a popular South Indian lower body garment garment is that it is not immune to the effects of gravity. Some people do use a belt to keep the garment in place, but it's not common practice. Anyway it's great fun to see the lungi slip off an unsuspecting soul's hips. And what if the afore mentioned soul has his hands full? And worse still also happens to have a panty fetish? Did I hear you heave a sigh of relief?

Express your expectations

Gold and saree shops are by a very long distance, the busiest businesses in Chennai. And I've often wondered why. I found my answer on a street close to my home. And on the next. And the one after that.

Going by the number of such signboards I've spotted, I can honestly say I haven't seen a city as obsessed with marriages as Chennai.